The First Day of Spring

I haven't felt this low in what feels like forever. I don't know why I feel like this and that's scary. Something is weighing down on me without my permission. My brain feels violated. 

I don't like how people rejoice so much in the control they have over you and they misuse it. It's so incredibly infuriating and the word 'unfair' has lost its meaning because I've thought it so much.

I hate what's happening.

"It's the first day of spring,
And my life is starting over again,
Well the trees grow, the river flows,
And its water will wash away my sin,
For I do believe that everyone,
has one chance
to fuck up 
their lives.
Like a cut down tree, I will rise again,
I'll be bigger, and stronger than ever before.

If I'm still here hoping, that one day you may come back.

There's a hope in every new seed,
And every flower that grows on the Earth,
And though I love you, and you know that,
Well I no longer know what that's worth,
And I'll come back to you, in a year or so,
And rebuild ready to become,
Oh the person, you believed in,
Or the person that you used to love.

If I'm still here hoping, that one day you may come back."

Love,
Kanika