Revival

After months of feeling like a shitty untalented prick of a person, endless tea cups and crying snivelling phone conversations with Ze Boyfriend, I'm typing this as a graduate!

*cue awkward dancing in a saree*

I cannot put into words the complete LACK OF STRESS in my body and mind. Can you imagine college being over? It feels surreal. No more late night texts to sleeping housemates asking them to wake me up the next day; no more end-of-the-month-broke-people-food like bread and butter; no more woefully staring at the Nutella jars on the supermarket shelf, wondering when you're going home next where Nutella is boundless.

Of course being at home has disadvantages too, like how much these 4 years are going to shape the way I think and how much I'll miss them, all the goddamn time. Not to mention the people.

Oh man.

Anyway I don't want to go down that road right now because where I am right now is the best feeling in the world, with these graduate idiots I call my friends.

This is just to say hi, Chaos, and to tell you I'm back, Professional Diploma in Visual Communication Design and all.

Love,
Kanika

This should be fun

I've been taking very long baths.

Since I'm not at home currently (and it feels so weird to be back in that college time hobo living phase) baths take longer because I must

- wash clothes
- clean bathroom before I bathe
- wipe bathroom floor after I bathe
- carry my toiletries into the bathroom and back into the suitcase
- carry sogging clothes out to the balcony in a heavy ass bucket

But none of this^ can bring down the joy of finding that sweet spot between Antarctica Freezing and Hot as Hell, standing under that strong force of warm water and somehow feeling all your shitty responsibilities clear off your skin, not to mention all the time you get to wallow in your mistakes and find ways to feel invigorated again.

If only.

Haha, anyhow. My final life-determining jury presentation is tomorrow. The amount of stress is my body is making me sick, and it's making me think back to my 12th standard boards. Of course I know now what I didn't know then: the 12th standard boards aren't stressful at all compared to what life throws at you later. But suddenly the still 16 year old side of me began to sulk at her one biggest worry being trivialised. Come to think of it, the stress never really goes away, rather manifests itself in whatever you need to be worried about at that age.

I need to sleep before I pass the point of waking up on time. And Jesus, I sound like a rambling drunk person.

I'll come back to you with jury results, Chaos. Keep the alcohol ready.

because I'm doing exactly what I should be doing at this point: watching Grey's Anatomy and forgetting what day it is.

Love,
Kanika

p.s. follow me on instagram! I'm way more active than a normal human being should be.

Hashtag Sad Face

"And at once I knew, I was not magnificent."

If you want to know someone, really know someone, listen to the songs they talk to you about. Watch them listen to these songs and notice their faces and their bodies change with the music. People might go really quiet and close their eyes and just sway. Or get on top of the nearest table and sing into a hairbrush. Watch them. You'll learn a part of them they wouldn't be able to outrightly display. People come to terms with themselves through their favourite music. Whether it's Carly Rae Jepsen or Sufjan Stevens, they find something in the melody, or in the words, or in the memory it provokes. Don't disregard their love for a song you can't stand; it made them feel something they probably can't even really explain to you.

Which is why I fucking hate music. (saying this only for dramatic effect)

Recently, Bon Iver made me stay up till 6 am and cry for reasons I'm entirely unsure of. How the hell are you supposed to go about with your day when you hear a sound that makes you sit up for a second and notice the goosebumps running down your back? And how is it that the new Coldplay song, in one play, had got stuck into the very recesses of my brain and refused to leave for the entire week? I'm humming it all the time. A screen capture from the video is my desktop wallpaper. You don't get it. It's a disease.

Hey Chaos, stay around.

Love,
Kanika

Beginning / End

Over the past week, I had to pack up my Bangalore life into cartons and suitcases. Somehow shut 4 years of memories & love and happiness and relationships into boxes and send them back home. And then I had to leave too.

Of course it did not hit me till the taxi driver called and asked for directions, & suddenly I was blubbering and tearing up over the phone. I spent 4 years waiting to leave this place and when I was at the end all I wanted was another day in that house, making maggi at 3 am and drinking quietly in the balcony so that our landlord wouldn't get to know and watching Friends with Ze Boyfriend while sitting on the same cartons I had just finished packing, holding his hand really tightly because I knew in a few hours I'd be too far away.

[it's not like I won't see him. I still have my final diploma project left to do, I just chose to do it in Delhi. I'll see him soon. :)]

I hated leaving, and last minute my friends decided to drop me to the airport; one showed up with his car, so the taxi left with other people with flights at the same time. I cried quietly all the way to the airport, I cried when I had to hug everyone, I cried when I got to the check-in counter (thinking about it right now is forming a lump in my throat) and I realised it was harder to leave Bangalore than it was to leave Delhi 4 years ago.

I've been home for a couple of days now. Sorry about the silence. Just lots of things to miss.

The very sweet Anjali has given me a blog award and it requires some do-ing; give me a day or two to adjust to all this upheaval and I'll be back. (:

Lots of love,
Kanika

Opening up the trunks

"The saddest part, of a broken heart,
isn't the ending, so much as the start."

Ah! How I love this blank box waiting to be typed into. I missed it!

Hello, blog. Hello, people who still read my blog. It's been such a crazy exhausting two weeks (or more) of things and people and dancing for the seniors farewell and getting giant banners printed and saying hello to my zits (Bob and Pete).

So let me see. It's almost the middle of December: almost time to go home to a wondrous Delhi winter, endless cups of hot tea, and this time, my poor boyfriend who has no clue just how cold it's going to be. It's also almost my birthday, which means I have 10 days to get ready for the end of the world and turning 21. No pressure.

I've been having interesting conversations. Experiencing new things. One night, I sat in a corner and observed things as they stopped making sense. Gravity seemed strange. Things existed but with no purpose. It was such a weird feeling. Watching things happen but no longer comprehending the physics. Being so removed from the place where you understand. And smiling through it. I felt like I reached a different dimension. I didn't share this with anyone (except the internet).

You don't necessarily have to share every thing great you experience. Sometimes those moments are meant only for you.

Like me, drinking beer at 1 pm because my ex-roommate graduated last night and left for home this morning. This is meant only for me. To think about how I'll be graduating next year at this time, and I'm scared shitless.

"Take your broke ass home!"

Aim: To make sure you're not too sick to fly back to college tomorrow.

Apparatus: One flu-ridden twenty year old, a Macbook Pro with some decent speakers, 8 cups of tea with excess sugar.

Procedure:

1. Wake up with a blocked nose, breathing through your mouth. Make sure you sound like an old, crabby man and cough periodically to prove the same.
2. Croak a desire for a cup of tea. While it's being made, brush your teeth and wash your face in a lame attempt to bring your spirits up.
3. Feel like your sinuses are going to kill you.
4. Take a sip of the hot, freshly prepared, adhrak(ginger) wala chai. Let the heat go right down to your toes and force you to take off your grandmother's sweater that you put on because you nicely did not get any of your sweaters from college.
5. Turn on your laptop. Wince at the opening music of the Macbook's awakening, turn down the brightness of the screen because it makes you want to go blind. Another cup of tea.
6. iTunes bounces on your dock as you click. Go to the playlist you've been listening to on repeat on your brisk walks in the evenings. It's pretty pumped up.
7. Third cup of tea. Gwen Stefani will inform you of her wish to be a 'rich girl'. Gwyneth Paltrow will want to 'forget you'. Fergie will tell you to be 'g-l-a-m-o-r-o-u-s." Soon you will be singing as loudly as your croaky voice will allow.
8. Your mother will walk into the room, expecting you to be in bed with a pained expression and a runny nose. You are actually singing into a hairbrush.

Love,

Kanika

Chasing pavements and dreams of not having a paunch

Hello, my beautiful blog.

Being at home is decadent and rewarding. I've been eating so much nice food that I'm dreading going back to the nights of instant noodles. Of course, I also must try to get rid of the paunch I've developed...and I thought I must before I got attached to it lovingly (sometime last week I caressed my stomach and apologized for not feeding it chicken in a while. I begun to freak myself out). Cue 'Eye of the Tiger' and brisk walks every evening. It took me three days to stop getting tired within ten minutes. My iPod is a brilliant companion. :)

I've been spending a lot of time on Blogger recently and I've been stumbling across blogs where the last post was scarily long ago (think '1 year', '2 years'...) and the thought made me shudder. I cannot imagine not being able to post in that long...and I vowed to make sure my blog doesn't land up being silent for such a while.

Hence!

This is what I currently look like, for people who wanted to know:

I don't want to puke looking at this picture, so I guess it's a good one.

Credits for this: my sister sitting on top of a slide.

The posts are going to be more frequent, I promise (if anyone is still even reading my crap) and I have some stuff coming up next week which I will want to share! :) (mostly it'll be self-obsessed photos of me. You have been warned.)

Let the comments roll in!

Love,

Kanika

Maybe I need to write a book

I've been at home and only home for 5 days now. Five days full of feeling. 

I've been in the middle of a lot of conversations lately. I've been watching more news on TV than I have in the entire duration of my being in Bangalore. TV people no longer know how to conduct a debate, it consists only of fat old politicians yelling at each other and making a fool of themselves. People around me yell across rooms and parks and into gadgets. The decibel levels make me cringe and shudder. Who talks softly anymore? And is there anyone who still values the beauty of silence?

I feel closer to a person with whom I am able to share a comfortable and non-awkward silence. That's the real test of a relationship...are you able to still feel together when you're not verbally showing it? There is so much more said in the lack of words than in their abundance. I've been keeping my thoughts to me for a few days and it's overwhelming, but fulfilling. And when I do say something, I make sure it's honest, and clear. It makes for less chance of conflict...with family, with boyfriend, with friends. If you tell someone exactly how you feel in the clearest way possible they never have to assume what you think, and there is simply no room for miscommunication or misunderstanding. I've been trying really hard to not let my short temper explode at the littlest things, and it was difficult at the beginning when everyone turned into a complete asshole. People are inconsiderate and no one is inherently nice anymore. I had to stop deluding myself into thinking that people like being polite; they don't. Everybody's default setting is jackass. And the sooner I realised that, the sooner it got easier to be carefree. I'm not going to be all zen and say that you should stay calm no matter what...if someone's mean to you, I'd say give it back. Subtly maybe, so that your karma doesn't get all screwed up.

Being at home for these two months has taught me tact, has made me quieter than I have ever been, happier in many ways and sad in some. I'm glad I interned here. I needed time with my family. 

Coorg tomorrow. This trip is going to be insane. I'M GOING TO MAKE IT FUN. :D

I'm sorry about the silence on the blog. I think I explained the reasons for it, up there. But let me get back to college and the many emotions it brings, and soon I shall be a chatterbox again.

Love in excitement and tranquility,

Kanika

Pathos and Apologies

Joyous June has been discontinued.

I've been under so much stress and pressure at my internship and I've had sleepless nights for a week. I couldn't keep up with it. I'm sorry to anyone who wanted to join later. And I'll also be deleting all the JJ posts by tomorrow. But I will update this post with all your links tomorrow, because I'm so happy the people who participated did so. I don't want to remove all that with nothing to show for it.
I want to go back to relaxing blogging for a bit. Not blogging that was causing me to be in hysterics at the despair of not being able to update on time. It got too much for me. I'm feeling horrible but I assure you (and myself) that I will make up for it by doing it another month, maybe when I'm back in Bangalore, because somehow I manage to feel more inspired. Maybe it's sitting at home and having so many things and people that distract. Or even just going to work from 9-7 and coming home with no desire other than to meet my bed with a giant hug. The past week has been long and ardous, and with three days left for my internship to end, I just really want a break.

In other random news and feelings, not only am I exhausted physically, but mentally I'm not in a great place. I have things to deal with but no time. Bangalore shall bring clarity and solace. I cannot wait. Three more weeks.

Love,
Kanika

Sleep can't cure this

"Go away," she said,
"leave me be,
to wallow in my misery
to soak up in all this self-pity
because no one seems to care."

Yes, I wrote that. I'm a genius with poetry, am I not?

- I have too many feelings inside me right now, and they are threatening to come in the way of my daily routine. I feel like curling up in bed and sleeping for days so that no one is able to hurt me anymore.

- I want to do another Fantabulous February, except this time it'll be Joyous June. Let me know if it's a good idea and if you would like to join. Read more about FF under the FF label. Click on the top of the post.

- I'm going to spend tomorrow entirely without using an internet connection. I was going to say computer/laptop but I forgot I'm at work and without solitaire to calm me down I will probably brutally beat my fellow intern. No facebook, email, twitter, tumblr or blogging tomorrow. Can I do this? I'm certainly gonna try.

Love with feeling, (if the labels on this post are any indication)
Kanika

Tiresome

I'm getting tired of people. Of having to talk, meet, laugh. The meetings feel pointless. Coming home is a relief.

Had a different sort of talk with granddad today. He talked to me about maturity. He sees sincerity and diligence in me. I don't understand why.

I'm losing faith in people. Everyone is just a terrible version of themselves. I'm tired of being told to not be hurt because the 'real world is a cruel place'. If that's reality I want to go away somewhere far away from it. I want to meet nice people and listen to nice thoughts. I want feeling hurt to be allowed. I want nice people. I want to hear good things.

I feel hurt today. I want to let this feeling get through completely so it doesn't come back to haunt me. This is taking a toll on me already. I abhor myself.

Love in despair,
Kanika

Break-fasting

(Any health conscious people or vegetarians reading this, I suggest you stop right here.)

Since 6 years, breakfast has been a meal I love to skip. When I was in school, 7 am meant only a glass of hot milk and then running out the door in fear of missing the bus. In college, breakfast is a leisurely activity I carry out only on holidays, when I'm not running out the door in fear of missing attendance (I think you're seeing a pattern.) I do not enjoy breakfast as much as lunch, dinner or the million snack breaks in between. Maybe it's because lunch and dinner have such a big number of possible things to eat. That includes CHICKEN, something I have resigned myself to knowing I can't live without. But in my mind, since childhood, breakfast has meant toast, multiple kinds of egg, and maybe a stray parantha with leftovers from the night before. Sunday breakfasts are glorious though, and puri-aloo is up there on my list of only thing I will ever willingly eat in the morning.

My internship has provided me with a schedule for the day that I am not used to anymore. It's vaguely familiar to what I had in school, a little more challenging. I wake up at 8.30 a.m., standing ready by 8.45 (surprised?) and till 9 o'clock my mother watches me with hawkeyes as I quietly eat the fried egg and single toast she's placed on the table. If I say no, she will stuff fruits into my bag, and as much as I love apples I'd rather not carry more food to work than the necessary lunch (I'm a bit of a hog like that, if I had more food with me I would never stop eating in office hours).

And I love a good sunny-side-up, do NOT get me wrong, but for every day breakfast, it's a wonder I'm not throwing up every mornings. Eggs are more icky than people think. Yeesh.

Okay putting my strange eating habits aside, Mehak from little trinkets i drop :) has graced me with an award! *joy dance*

And for once, all I have to do once I receive it is simply bask in its glory!

Thanks Mehak :)

Love in breakfastry,
Kanika

Not the only list I have made recently

In the last two weeks I have:

- dyed my hands green/purple/red and pretended to not choke on the fumes of acid dye

- successfully extended the deadlines of two submissions

- had nights where I have come home and crashed at 10 and woken up the next morning with no recollection of what happened the night before

- looked wistfully at the work of other people and wished it was mine

- gone to college at 6 am on a sunday in my nightclothes for a project (it was dark at 6 am, pitch dark)

- compelled my OCD urges to pipe down while working when I glanced at my slowly disappearing-under-junk table

- wished I had time to spend with my camera

- talked to my mother a lot more than usual

- not cared so much about the state of my hair and face

- tried to eat healthy for a day or two

- not heard enough music

- FINALLY watched the Matrix trilogy and have hence not been sure of many, many things

- thought about old friends more than usual

- not blogged as much as I would like

Pyaar,

Kanika

Oh HELL no.

In the span of twenty four hours, I have come to a startling yet NOT extremely scary conclusion, I was scared when it hit me, but in the duration of the epiphany appearing in my head and now, at 10.53 pm, it doesn't seem so bad.

Proof first, then hypothesis.

I've been telling the boyfriend to clean up while cooking his instant noodles, so much as asking him to throw the tastemaker sachet and noodles packet while it's on the gas, boiling. I mean, it makes sense, right? Why wait till you're satisfactorily full and in no mood to clean anymore?

In between my manic OCD phases where I basically clean his room till it sparkles, whenever I've sent him out of the room for an errand I always ask him to accomplish another task while he's there. For example, "go get the dustbin from the kitchen...oh and while you're there just fill a bottle of water and bring it back for me." This leads to an argument about me being a slavedriver, and I say the words I have heard many times before from someone else who shall remain nameless till the end of this post: "Time and motion study, it's logic. Why make two trips when the tasks can be finished in one?" Response: death stare and some incoherent muttering of words I know are not nice.

Currently doing a dye-ing course in college, so my hands have been orange tinted for days (shall post pictures of tiedye pieces soon :D)...and I've realised that trying to make sure everyone cleans up equally really doesn't work, and I end up saying stuff like, "if you made the mess, you clean it up."

I've turned into my mother.

What flashbacks. She says exactly all these things and more to my sister and I.

D:

Love in fright,

Kanika

 p.s. happy holi and all. I might just stay home and finish my portfolio. sigh. such is life.

Echoing in my brain

I need to let you fuck off from my life.

My days with you are numbered. I can feel it in my bones and in the long, slow drags I'm taking. In the way my fairy lights are twinkling tonight, in sync with the music blasting in my head.

"I don't even need your love,
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough."

I will crave the feeling of my hands in your pockets, and that feeling will overcome me on rainy nights when the power goes off. But you're leaving. And I hope this hollow ache is of relief. 

13th August

I haven't seen you in a while.

I haven't forgotten your face yet. The freckle next to your ear. The way your stubble feels at 4 in the afternoon. Watching you sleep with your mouth open ever so slightly. 

It's been a while and yet here you are, whispering your choice as I stand in front of my open closet and wonder which shade of black to put on today. And then again when I choose between sleep and despair. Once more when I trace over the daisy chain tattoo on my ankle you envied. It took a long deep breath and clenched fists and images of bad nights to remind me of your absence. 

I often feel lonely. Immense love for what we were supercedes all else. The universe conspires against me. It makes me think of you and I lie in bed staring at that crack in the ceiling and I feel a sudden ache envelop me whole.

"The perfect words never crossed my mind,
Cause there was nothin' in there but you.
I felt every ounce of me screaming out,
But the sound was trapped deep in me.
All I wanted just sped right past me,
While I was rooted fast to the earth,
I could be stuck here for a thousand years,
Without your arms to drag me out."

Love,

Kanika

Is this what's going to happen for another 361 days?

I think 2012 is going to be awesome for me.

I'm basing this entirely on the fact that at when the clock struck 12 on the cold foggy night of 31st December 2011, I was going ape shit playing a game called Bejewelled on my laptop, and once the hour begun, my scores began to skyrocket.  Of course it's legit.

In the first four days of January 2012,
- Flipkart has surprised me by delivering a tripod to my house (my aunt ordered it for my birthday and gave my mailing address, beautiful surprise)
- My mom got vouchers that enabled us to eat (free) for a pretty extravagant amount at a pretty extravagant restaurant (she knew the Vice President of Operations, and last night, let me tell you, I have not seen so many plates of chicken on a single table my whole life)
- My parents decided I deserved something awesome for being the beautiful daughter that I always am so in a couple of days I should be receiving a 50 mm f/1.8 lens! For those who aren't so aware of this kinda stuff, basically, my pictures are going to get beautiful (wistful sigh)
- I met the ex, and things went way better than I expected (And I had expected kill-me-now bad, so anything would have topped that) in the sense that we parted at least as friends who might feel the need to call each other once in a blue moon to ask what's up :)
- My mom also got me graphic design work for her hotel where she works (the work doesn't involve a lot of my brain usage) but in case they love it, someone's gonna get riiiiiiiiiich
- Between all this it's a little lame but after a year of struggling to find a way to store 67 pairs of earrings (and a way that makes it easy to carry them when I'm travelling to and from home) mother and I found a perfect set of cute little plastic drawers (color coded now, of course) and I have to say, life is more efficient now that I don't spend at least 20 minutes in the morning trying to untangle earrings in order to make my outfit pop.

It's been a good four days. Yes sir :)

I recently discovered pinterest, a site much like tumblr with really sweet things to find, so here are some I found in the morning today and wanted to share. (You can make an account only if someone already on it invites you through email, so in case you're interested drop your email in the comments, I'll invite you :) )

Just simply for the thought.

-ditto-

What a cool way to organize necklaces and other pieces of jewellery!

This is by far one the nicest things I've seen in a while. Basically, for the whole year, you keep adding little notes to the jar about, say, a good day, a nice incident...whenever something nice happens you write it down and drop it in this. And then on New Years' Eve you can open it up again and look back on what a happy year it's been! Not a difficult thing to keep up with either. I've gotta try this :)

To end this post, here's a mad gif from photos taken yesterday (with the new tripod :D )...It's going to be a good year. I'm going to make it one.

Pyaaaaaaaar,

Kanika

Facebook Page - http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sensitive-Chaos/214577215223293 GO LIKE IT! go go go go!

What Happened Next?

My birthday happened.

There are no pictures of that night, that fucking brilliant kickass night when everyone made me feel so loved, so important, and we got hammered and happy and everyone went to sleep feeling tired and satisfied. I'm glad there aren't any pictures. We would've posed and not let ourselves go the way we did. It was amazing. And they planned a treasure hunt for me all over our colony with little gifts to go along with each clue. *sighs contentedly at the memory* I'm hoping my birthday happens in Bangalore again next year, simply for how happy everyone else was to have a reason to chill just before the break and right after a mad maaaad week of so-much-work-we-nearly-died.

The day though, I have photos, just me and the New Boyfriend went out to the city, ate some nice food, bought some books and walked down Brigade Road hand in hand. :)

I BOUGHT BOOKS! HELLS YEAH!

This isn't the amazing food we ate, we just didn't take pictures there. But then no birthday is complete without junk food for me. So we thought, McDonalds FTW. The fries sucked, fyi.

At the music shop, Hysteria, where we went little bonkers looking at the posters and then at their prices *cringes at the memory*

This is him, at three different times of the day - At the first nice restaurant, then outside Hysteria, and then the bus home. I guess it wasn't everyone's birthday. Ha.

The day after was spent at the airport, as my flight got delayed slowly and steadily and built up to 5 hours worth, with friends who also felt sure that this is how we would die, sitting in plastic chairs in a glass building watching everyone's else planes take off and wondering if ours was ever destined to. I was supposed to reach home at deliciouslunchtime and feast on kashmiri mutton but I guess my family got bored of waiting and when I finally trudged in to my living room at 9 pm instead of 2 I got to eat daal. Oh joy.

The next day we pushed off to Chandigarh and I don't know if you remember but that's where the two cutest Nepali kids are, they've been mentioned on my blog more than a couple of times. And I can't talk about them without pictures. Prepare to melt. If you're allergic to cuteness I suggest you look away. :)

God I could eat him. Meet Mohit. ^

And that's Rohit, his elder brother. And the two together are called 'Those 2 Rascals' by my grandmother.

Their mum oiled their hair and combed it to one side, and when they came back to play all of us couldn't help but laugh.

Mohit tells me to look at the camera.

One morning :)

:)

!

My sister took this one and it's too hilarious to not share :D

:D

Hahahaha this one always makes me smile!

The day after this we left for a quick two day trip to Shoghi, a tiny town near Shimla in Himachal Pradesh, and I have more gorgeous pictures to show from there!

(I didn't realise how picture heavy this post will be!)

happy parents!

sister and dad :)

nani and mum.

Shimla photos hereon.

in an antique bookstore.

church!

in a shop :P

From Shoghi.

Road up to where we stayed.

- pictures end here - :P

Anywho. It's 30th December and I have no plans for tomorrow, something I am very glad about, because honestly sitting at home with your family, drinking wine and eating good food and watching tv on NYE is so underrated but it's actually really satisfying. I'm going to keep that tradition alive this year too. :)

What are your plans for tomorrow? Tell me in the comments! And sorry for being so quiet. As you can see, I was busy :) 

Missed you all! Pyaaar :)

Kanika

Untitledness

Woohoo.

My fourteen days in Delhi was a trip to remember. It was the first time since Ze Boyfriend and I ended things that I managed to see the city for what it is and not simply a place where I can meet my boyfriend. It was amazing, slightly depressing sometimes, but mostly so eye-opening. I didn't know Delhi could make me this happy by just being such an interesting place.

I'm going to make a loooong list of the things I did in these two weeks, whether I'm proud of them or not. Some of them are too funny to not share :D I've been a little stingy with the long text posts of late, so I'm changing that with this post. And guys. Comment okay. I love reading your views too :)

1. I BAKED A CAKE a.k.a PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!

My sister had the recipe.

I had the time.

My mother had the courage to let it be done.

So then it was.

I baked a cake from start to finish! I beat eggs, I sifted cocoa and baking soda and all those cool baking ingredients accomplished bakers use! By this time Ze Seester and I were blending things like a BOSS, all alone at home, and everything was as awesome as awesome can be.

Then...we put it in the oven.

Disaster struck. I had put too much batter and it spilled over the top of the tin, that beautifully thick gorgeous brown batter, at the bottom of the oven, burning.

And I opened it to slowly remove the baking tray and my hand slipped, and to my sister's utter horror, the tin threw some of that delicious looking batter on to the floor.

When I look back now, I can safely tell you no one got hurt and we scrubbed like motherfuckers and no one in the familt knew what happened, but at THAT time, I basically shit my pants. So did the sister.

Basically. Cutting a long description of my fear short, I can tell you, I ultimately created a slightly burnt but according-to-the-mother very very very tasty cake, and I crossed something I never thought I would off my do-once-in-my-life list :)

No photos of this event. :(

2. I SNEAKED INTO A D.U. COLLEGE a.k.a I'M FROM L.S.R, DON'T YOU KNOW?

I got a taste of propah Delhi University convenience and snobbish behaviour and I apparently faked it well enough for people to believe I was from there. Mwahaha.

I met *orange plum*, completely by chance. And I was so dazed I didn't give this awesome girl her due.

I WAS SOOOOOOO EXCITED TO MEET YOU! BELIEVE ME!

I also met so many new peepuls and some old ones, and all in all it was a pretty fucking awesome day, and I was overcome by that good tired feeling, the one that kills you but gives you satisfaction in knowing you did something productive. 

3. GOT MY HAIR CUT...AGAIN!

basically I went from this:

to this:

:D

Mother : "Haaye...such beautiful hair you had....kyun kaat daale, bachha?"

4. DESIGN WORK FOR ZE FATHER!

He gave me fifteen minutes and said, "I have a deadline. Make something for romance. Fifteen minutes. Karo." Me: "WHAT THE -" *run to laptop*

Came up with this. Client approved. I earned a neat 500 bucks.

5. FUND BUILDING

Finally, after lots of procrastinating and avoiding the topic, parents are on board for the MacBook-For-Kanika-Because-She-Needs-One-Of-Those-Beautiful-SteveJobs's-Creations fund.

Hence. I have begun saving up whatever money I can muster, currently at about 9 grand. Whatte woohoo, no? :D I'm proud of myself.

I will obtain you, you fucking gorgeous machine.

Part 2 of the What I Did In Delhi series will be up later. This is all the important stuff. :)

Comment ok! :D

Love x

Kay

Diwali happened

So like I told you guys, I'm home for diwali for the first time in three years, and my first day home was awesome fun. But the next day, someone close to my family passed away after a long and very tedious fight with cancer, and it's been a little down since.

I did more cool things. I bought books.

I went to nani's house and met cute children.

haha.

love, 

kay