Midnight rain is the most beautiful peaceful thing in the world; everyone in the world is asleep and it's dark and I can hear the rain on the balcony roof and it sounds amazing.
It's been a bad day with stress and disappointment and being tired for no reason, and I haven't felt this way in so long. I immediately felt 13 years old again (looking back at the things I got mad about today). Honestly, I tried my hardest to fight it, but then fuck it they're my feelings, why should I deny them at all.
And then the anger and hate threw me into a vigor of inspiration. They drove me. For a second I hesitated, wondering whether anger is a good enough reason. But then I thought why not, as long as it's making me productive, what's the harm.
It's been a bad day with stress and disappointment and being tired for no reason, and I haven't felt this way in so long. I immediately felt 13 years old again (looking back at the things I got mad about today). Honestly, I tried my hardest to fight it, but then fuck it they're my feelings, why should I deny them at all.
And then the anger and hate threw me into a vigor of inspiration. They drove me. For a second I hesitated, wondering whether anger is a good enough reason. But then I thought why not, as long as it's making me productive, what's the harm.
I loved the bit about the rain. You're right,there's something inherently comforting about listening to the muffled pitter-patter.
ReplyDeleteI WISH I was being productive. All I want is to curl up with a book I can't put down. Sigh.
Hope tomorrow's better for you :)
I get that part about it being peaceful in the dead of the night. I used to like it best, when we used to be driving back from a late night movie, which is usually something like 1AM, and we'd stop somewhere to pour sugar into our takeaway coffee's, and the wipers would be down and the rain would keep on falling on the windshield. That has often made for some really nice midnight photos. :) Anyway I ramble.
ReplyDeleteBeing depressed has produced some of my best writing ever. Though being depressed, my pictures come about as charming as a picture of a fly sitting on a table waiting to die. :/ I NEED to be upbeat if I am on a shoot, just as I need to be sad and suitably drunk to write well. :P But hey, whatever works for us right?? :D