Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Erm...

I saw this on tumblr. It spoke to me.

If I say a hearty yes it will mean embarking on a journey without your warm hand in mine in a city I knew but one that is familiar no longer. It will mean turning a blind eye as you move on and lock all our happy moments in a box inside my head, all mine to keep, all mine to open on days I miss you just a little too much and smile, thinking about how happy I was with you.

Saying yes entails a new self actualization process, finding myself all over again without your voice in my head telling me it's all worth it in the end. Saying yes means I admit to being on the path of getting over you and I don't know if I'm prepared.

My adventures always handed you the largest role out of anyone else I loved and now I must leave with just your memory, a faint aura of your loveliness, a slight heartache when I find a trace of your handwriting on a piece of paper in the corner of a drawer or a letter from you thrust into the suitcase under my bed. I'll smile at our photographs, knowing we had something beautiful. But for now, I must leave. To embark on my adventure with a hearty yes.

7 comments:

  1. You won't know if you're prepared until you take the first step on your adventure. And he might not be there. But your friends, family, and every other person in your life will. Without knowing it, they will contribute to making you feel a bit better every single day. Break ups happen. Finding yourself again and being happy is the best remedy. Take care love. <3

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  2. P.S Love the new header. Can you pretty please teach meeeee?

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  3. ^ What she said.

    I know what you mean. The picture speaks to me too. :)
    http://musingsofjustanothergirl.blogspot.com/

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  4. Favorite post, cause it was like I was hearing what I said already a few months back.
    ...and this journey's going to be a tough one, and you'll realize how brittle you are, but trust me, along the way when you're at the epitome of being brittle- you won't break.
    And that's going to give you one hearty smile.
    Much love :-)

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  5. That was so heartbreakingly beautiful; and one of your best posts. Taking your pain and turning it into literature - that's the spirit.

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  6. We're always told that in the end it's going to be alright, that everything is going to fall in place and we can start afresh. But the truth is that we all know that. But what we don't know is how broken we're going to be throughout the process of eventually being fine, how many times we're going to sit by ourselves and wonder what if and what could have happened? We'll make peace with the fact that some things are in place when they're floating around like questions unanswered. They don't have a place, and never will. You'll do things you never thought you would, some good, others bad... But in the end, we're all going to be fine. And that's the truth.

    Loved the post.

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  7. @Randomhyper - Finding happiness in company is the nicest :) ive been making up for lost time by spending it with people and it's been lovely.
    @nil - :) i'm stronger than i ever have been, and this too shall pass.
    @cyniqueen - thank you :)
    @splatters of ink - i loved loved loved your comment. thank you so much.
    you all give me the strength to move on! :)

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