Hi everybody, you don't have to miss me anymore, I'm back for good! It's been so long since I clicked on 'New Post'. It feels great. I feel great.
Lots of alone time and new music leads to constant epiphanies. Boredom helps, mostly. Being quiet has its advantages. I feel terrible for not telling you what I've been thinking and feeling, it's been nearly a month and I haven't found the words to explain it. It's a strange calm which is irritating everybody around me because it's making me put myself before everyone. I want to be a better person, and I needed to retreat for a while and let these feelings wash over me so that they never come back. I've gone into a cave of silence. It's tranquil. Nothing bothers me here. Whatever had the capacity to get under my skin no longer occupies any space in my mind..leaves so much more room for happiness. :)
keeping my room clean,
spending hours on filing my nails,
drinking 3 cups of green tea in a day,
not giving a damn,
not talking to anyone,
pissing off my boyfriend,
watching way too much Community,
singing loudly and badly,
spending no money (doesn't mean I'm saving it),
drawing and listening to new music which is lovely,
drinking chai in the rain,
taking baths that are way too long and relaxing,
feeling too much and too little at the same time,
avoiding conflict and creating it,
dancing alone with my fairy lights on,
not talking to people who bore me,
writing in my mind and not in my journal,
missing some people who decided to leave me alone for their own good,
reading things I wish I had written,
smiling to myself.
College isn't feeling very challenging, only boring and demotivating, and it's getting intensely difficult to find ways to push myself. The past three weeks haven't been that hectic, but next week promises a shit-storm of great magnitude. I'm prepared.
And I'm going to try to post at least once every two days. I took three weeks off, and it's time to be attached to this blog again. Starting with how it looks now, I'm loving the minimal clean feel. Comments are very welcome and much loved. :)