Hashtag Sad Face

"And at once I knew, I was not magnificent."

If you want to know someone, really know someone, listen to the songs they talk to you about. Watch them listen to these songs and notice their faces and their bodies change with the music. People might go really quiet and close their eyes and just sway. Or get on top of the nearest table and sing into a hairbrush. Watch them. You'll learn a part of them they wouldn't be able to outrightly display. People come to terms with themselves through their favourite music. Whether it's Carly Rae Jepsen or Sufjan Stevens, they find something in the melody, or in the words, or in the memory it provokes. Don't disregard their love for a song you can't stand; it made them feel something they probably can't even really explain to you.

Which is why I fucking hate music. (saying this only for dramatic effect)

Recently, Bon Iver made me stay up till 6 am and cry for reasons I'm entirely unsure of. How the hell are you supposed to go about with your day when you hear a sound that makes you sit up for a second and notice the goosebumps running down your back? And how is it that the new Coldplay song, in one play, had got stuck into the very recesses of my brain and refused to leave for the entire week? I'm humming it all the time. A screen capture from the video is my desktop wallpaper. You don't get it. It's a disease.

Hey Chaos, stay around.

Love,
Kanika

Everything's Not Lost

There it was, I had it, my moment of everything-just-hit-me-all-at-once-what-am-i-doing-everything-sucks, and I handled it better than I ever thought I could.

And best of all, I had a friend to help me along, in that 10 seconds of silent chaos.

Everything is okay, and it will be, because the universe will always turn itself back up again and the sun will shine again new.

I will be okay, come darkness or light, the lows of loneliness or the highs of the contentment. Coldplay will always be the answer to questions that are woozy, with some added herbs and spices.

Everything is okay.

:)

!

*roommate leaves*
*cue dramatic singing into hairbrush in front of mirror*

"Now that she's back in the atmosphere

With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey

She acts like summer and walks like rain

Reminds me that there's time to change, hey, hey

Since the return from her stay on the moon

She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey 

Tell me did you sail across the sun

Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded

And that heaven is overrated 

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star

One without a permanent scar

And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?"

Wait, are you telling me you DON'T think all songs with meaningful lyrics are written for your life, and your life alone? That's sad. :P

I need the perfect playlist every morning to bring me out of my daily morning grump and put me into crazy work mode, and I thought I'll drop in here to say hi before I disappear into a mound of design-student-woes today. So hi :)

Also, in case anyone's interested in what I've been listening to, here.

And since I haven't been talking to you guys much, I thought I'll try much much harder. It's possible you're going to be reading too much of me!

Love,

Kanika

Unbearable

Somedays it's an explicable spring in my step, some nights an imponderable gloom, and an almost constant will to express but no strength to articulate my brain.

It's been a struggle to not care about the shitty things that happen in a day (because everyone tells you not to care) but I care anyway. It's easier than trying not to. And I feel better about not denying anything that goes on in my head.

I am slowly beginning to realise the things that make me happy. A clean table, a plant on my desk, a good cup of tea, laughing with friends, a cozy nap in the afternoon, people who lend books, a lovable bulldog puppy who plonks his butt into your lap and demands attention, my new-and-improved fairy lights (photos soon!), sharing a cigarette in the dark in the balcony, logo design books, and I could go on and list things that seem so tiny but add up to really really fulfilling days.

All of this, and Fantabulous February is up soon! I almost cannot contain the joy right now :D

So for people who don't know what FF is (where have you been?!) let me take you through.

Fantabulous February is an exercise I cooked up to keep myself engaged in writing, because I began to feel at this time last year that I was losing my love for the written word. It goes like this: every day for the month of February, I'll be posting an image or quote or basically anything which is even half-inspiring, and by the end of the day, I'd have used that inspiration to write a post of my own. It's like forcing yourself into creativity. And the best part, anyone who wants to take part can do so, all you need to do is write a post on your blog, post the image/quote/etc. there too, and once you're done send me a link to that post, because I like including them here :)

This is the FF label, so you can see the crazy prose we came up with last time :) HERE.

YAY FOR BLOGGING AND BLOGGERS AND FEBRUARY AND LOVE AND EVERYTHING.

Love in ecstatic restlessness,
Kanika

We're Wrong

"We accept the love we think we deserve." - The Perks of Being A Wallflower

Being self-aware is a prized and difficult quality, and the moments of my own where I think I have begun to understand why I am the way that I am make me intensely proud. Right now, for example, I know I don't deserve this, and after days of dealing I'm finally acting on that realisation. Cutting out the hard, terrible and rusty part of the love and trying to keep only the parts that still work. It's not supposed to feel like this, like a punishment, like there is nothing better out there so you stick with the hurtful. Know what you deserve - something that makes you happy. Every person, bad or good, deserves that. I am not a bad person, as much as I'm being convinced. 

Whatever happened to being scarred and broken but proud of it? Being complex and strange and weird but never berating yourself for being unsure?

I'm unsure. Complex. Moody. Sad, mostly. Difficult. But I love you. Let me love you anyway.

Love, 

Kanika

We Will Be Changed

Hello!

Let me share my state of mind and its uncertain nature in these photos. Literally, ten minutes apart.

I have long since given up trying to understand my brain.

One thing though. Few days ago, I was rightly slapped back into reality from the soulless abyss I was falling into. Ze boyfriend pulled me up, dusted me down, and gave me a talking to I most rightly deserved. No more cribbing and whining, I'm telling myself, I'm going to start spreading only sweetness and light.

It's very easy to make these pronouncements at 12.24 am when you know you can't sleep till at least 3. I'm not fretting at the thought though. I'm looking forward to it. There's something about the feeling...8tracks playlists in my ears, my fairy lights keeping me company at unearthly hours, and just me and Adobe Illustrator. It's therapeutic. And for a while it hadn't been. I'm happy it's here again. :)

Anywho, the good(er) news is, Akanksha (click here for her lovely blog) has bestowed me with this, and I need to do some things in order to receive it completely.

1. Thank the person who nominated you and link back.

2. State 7 random facts about yourself.

3. Answer the questions the tagger asked you.

4. Generate questions for people you want to award.

5. Inform them.

Okay, then.

1. Thank you Akanksha! You are very lovely and I hope you continue finding my blog worth your reading time :) linked back already! <3 p="p">

2. Seven Random Facts About Me

• I've cut my own hair once out of frustration.
• Most mornings I wake up with chai withdrawal; expecting me to be polite before my morning cuppa is widely considered futile.
• I'm curently in the middle of reading 5 books. (Catcher in the Rye, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Fountainhead, some random chick novel) Time isn't on my side. Come my two week Delhi vacation, and they'll all be crossed off my list.
• I don't lend my earphones.
• I've stopped lending books once they started coming back in terrible shape.
• I follow too many TV shows at a time.
• I procrastinate a LOT.

3. Akanksha's questions:

If you had a pig, what would you name it?-

I would name it Chamkili. (sparkly in Hindi)

How do you exert most energy? =P 

Sitting on my ass, watching Grey's Anatomy, eating Cheetos (I wish I could lose calories doing that, I would be invisible by now)

What do you think would happen if your dog ate your sunscreen?

Nothing really. I don't have a dog, I can try it out on my little sister and tell you :P

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs?

I HAVE BEEN ASKING THE SAME THING. IT'S CRIMINAL. I WANT MCDOGS.

Do prison buses have emergency exits?

Ooh I love witty questions, sadly my answers never match up. But no, I guess not.

Why can't doughnuts be square?

There has to be some physics thing to this...

I googled it.

"It's to allow maximum capacity and less breakage when being filled by machine with a filling such as custard or jelly. A square doughnut would break at the corners and so would a triangular doughnut.And having a hole in the middle of the dough would increase the surface area of the dough to improve the texture when fried. Also, a round doughnut is the easiest to create when cooking because most types of dough round out when baked unless put into a special tray. The round doughnut is also much more appealing to the eye than a square or triangular doughnut...no matter how cool those would be :D
Also its easier to make...you just roll the dough out...cut it and connect the two sides to make a circle.

And having a hole in the middle of the dough would
increase the surface area of the dough to improve the texture when fried."

:D

Are children who acted in rated R movies allowed to see them?

Haha NO WAY. Rather, I hope not. But I'm sure during shooting they see way more than they bargained for anyway.

Does a postman deliver his own mail?

It's possible! Heck, that's awesome, his mail's never gonna get lost.

Why are the shoe sizes different for a man and a woman of the same height?

Biologically, women are smaller. It's an evolutionary thing.

Okay, can't get anymore crazier. Review my blog. =P

Akanksha! You are such a cute little person. Your posts are so much fun to read and I laugh out loud sometimes :) Just one tiny suggestion: the font size could be a tad smaller and have a subtler colour. Sorry! Graphic design student up in da hood :P

4. Oh no! My questions to you guys:

- Do you believe in miracles?

- What is the most beautiful place you've ever been in?

- Who is your favorite band/artist and why?

- Is 2012 really the end of the world?

- If you had to choose between travelling the entire world and going to the moon (money no bar) which     would you choose?

- What's the most delicious thing you've ever eaten?

- Review my blog :P (I LOVE THIS QUESTION)

- Lastly, in the words of Arthur Weasley, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?

5. Award people.

This is me being my uncharacteristically sweetness-and-light self.
Whoever is reading this post, you're awarded. Anyone who's feeling good about themselves today can choose to reward themselves for feeling good. And those who are on the dark side of things today, well, here's a pick-me-up, this award's yours :)

Going to post more soon!
Love,

Kanika

Eyes on Fire

Taking every day as a new obstacle and crossing it with pride (mostly). Every morning I decide to do things differently than the previous one, but it mostly ends up being the same shit-fest day after day.
There is my instantly hot temper, my ability to feel extremely stupid in a group of people because I space out so often I can't follow the conversation, and I'm been thinking about things way bigger and beyond anything I experience in any one day in college. Lots of questioning, mostly unnecessary, but it feels important.

Work isn't exciting, there are too many random holidays in the middle of the week to keep me in a sleepless-stressed-about-work stupor.

This song is lovely, give it a listen.

Born to Die - Lana Del Rey

Randomly,

Kanika

p.s. I love comments, I don't bite.

p.p.s. I just did 20 stomach crunches and then rewarded myself with a packet of hide-n-seek biscuits. Nice.

Maybe I need to write a book

I've been at home and only home for 5 days now. Five days full of feeling. 

I've been in the middle of a lot of conversations lately. I've been watching more news on TV than I have in the entire duration of my being in Bangalore. TV people no longer know how to conduct a debate, it consists only of fat old politicians yelling at each other and making a fool of themselves. People around me yell across rooms and parks and into gadgets. The decibel levels make me cringe and shudder. Who talks softly anymore? And is there anyone who still values the beauty of silence?

I feel closer to a person with whom I am able to share a comfortable and non-awkward silence. That's the real test of a relationship...are you able to still feel together when you're not verbally showing it? There is so much more said in the lack of words than in their abundance. I've been keeping my thoughts to me for a few days and it's overwhelming, but fulfilling. And when I do say something, I make sure it's honest, and clear. It makes for less chance of conflict...with family, with boyfriend, with friends. If you tell someone exactly how you feel in the clearest way possible they never have to assume what you think, and there is simply no room for miscommunication or misunderstanding. I've been trying really hard to not let my short temper explode at the littlest things, and it was difficult at the beginning when everyone turned into a complete asshole. People are inconsiderate and no one is inherently nice anymore. I had to stop deluding myself into thinking that people like being polite; they don't. Everybody's default setting is jackass. And the sooner I realised that, the sooner it got easier to be carefree. I'm not going to be all zen and say that you should stay calm no matter what...if someone's mean to you, I'd say give it back. Subtly maybe, so that your karma doesn't get all screwed up.

Being at home for these two months has taught me tact, has made me quieter than I have ever been, happier in many ways and sad in some. I'm glad I interned here. I needed time with my family. 

Coorg tomorrow. This trip is going to be insane. I'M GOING TO MAKE IT FUN. :D

I'm sorry about the silence on the blog. I think I explained the reasons for it, up there. But let me get back to college and the many emotions it brings, and soon I shall be a chatterbox again.

Love in excitement and tranquility,

Kanika

Sleep can't cure this

"Go away," she said,
"leave me be,
to wallow in my misery
to soak up in all this self-pity
because no one seems to care."

Yes, I wrote that. I'm a genius with poetry, am I not?

- I have too many feelings inside me right now, and they are threatening to come in the way of my daily routine. I feel like curling up in bed and sleeping for days so that no one is able to hurt me anymore.

- I want to do another Fantabulous February, except this time it'll be Joyous June. Let me know if it's a good idea and if you would like to join. Read more about FF under the FF label. Click on the top of the post.

- I'm going to spend tomorrow entirely without using an internet connection. I was going to say computer/laptop but I forgot I'm at work and without solitaire to calm me down I will probably brutally beat my fellow intern. No facebook, email, twitter, tumblr or blogging tomorrow. Can I do this? I'm certainly gonna try.

Love with feeling, (if the labels on this post are any indication)
Kanika

Take Care

I was a good person today. I didn't get angry with anyone, I did all the chores I'm expected to do at home without any prompting for once, I listened to my boyfriend when he was angry and I let him yell at me out of frustration, and I was quiet and supportive.

I felt good, it's true. I don't know how long I'll have to consciously do it before it becomes a habit. One thing I have to say, I felt really happy for some reason when I did so. I had moments when I felt a retort on my lips but I swallowed it and smiled, and somehow that calmed me down. It's not a normal hyperactive joy I felt today. It's a calmer internal tranquility. This is good for me, I can tell. I can breathe slowly today without any stress. Who know being NICE could do that :P

There is one thing that still rankled through the facade I put up today, and that is when someone told me to "chill" when I was so very obviously 'chilling'. There is a special place in hell for people who say that in such situations.

I have to share one song today. It's just so addictive and it's stuck in my head. I will proceed to hear this and only this for the first proper 2-day weekend I have off in three weeks.

The video is really beautiful. And I have new found love for Drake. He's always seemed like a bit of a douche. If you hate this kinda music (and I thought I would hate it too) just forget that for about 4 minutes and listen to this song. It's really really great.

:)

Love in happiness of a different kind,
Kanika

p.s. name suggestions for illustration blog are welcome and DESPERATELY NEEDED!

Echoing in my brain

I need to let you fuck off from my life.

My days with you are numbered. I can feel it in my bones and in the long, slow drags I'm taking. In the way my fairy lights are twinkling tonight, in sync with the music blasting in my head.

"I don't even need your love,
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough."

I will crave the feeling of my hands in your pockets, and that feeling will overcome me on rainy nights when the power goes off. But you're leaving. And I hope this hollow ache is of relief. 

Somebody That I Used To Know

Walk out the door, I told you and between your screams of protest I grabbed you by the collar and threw you out. Away from my life, my home, my little bubble of happiness I created all by myself when you left me in the middle of everything. You’re making it break, I told you, as I hauled you on to my porch, you’re ruining everything, you always do, you’re the proverbial stupid spanner in my life of tiny, relentless works.

Tiny is a horrible word, especially when you use it excessively in your head to describe your own value, and worse when someone else put the word in your head. It’s not a welcome addition to my mental self-esteem dictionary, and I have solely you to thank for it. You’re a frequent contributor, actually. You must find that amazing, knowing that so long after your physical absence in my general scheme of things, you still hold the irritating place in my head- the voice at the back of it.

Detachment is a word that sounds bereft to begin with, used in a sentence generates a feeling of pity. Aw, you poor thing, having to slowly hammer away at that shrine in your heart you built for something. You poor, poor thing. I wish I could help, but I’m afraid I have no intention to.

I wish that dashed line would erase itself in a fireball of sentimentality. You wish I lost my way with words so that I no longer had the ability to make you insanely guilty and highly relieved at the same, exact time. Guilty because you thought you turned me into this subtly crazy version of myself, and relieved because you left before the worst of me came along. We wish there was an easier way to conduct ourselves at these uncommon bonding sessions – a way to get much farther away than ever considered possible, and right now we don’t know what way we’re going.

The function of love no longer an easy prescription, you kissed my cheek and left me standing there, the back of your head bobbing away in a painfully familiar rhythm. See you soon, I couldn’t help but whisper. 

See you soon.

Love,

Kanika

I really hope you and me last.

Can you lie next to her and give her your heart, your heart?
As well as your body, and can you lie next to her and confess your love, your love?
As well as your folly and can you kneel before the king and say ‘I’m clean’, ‘I’m Clean’?



But tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart?
But tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart?



His white blank page; a swelling rage, rage
You did not think when you sent me to the brink, the brink
You desired my attention but denied my affections, affections



But tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart?
But tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart?



Lead my to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life. Lead my to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life.



- Mumford & Sons


Alcohol makes me fun, it makes me pose for photos with nice people and not want to kill myself out of grief. Thank God for a bit of gin and the guy who decided I needed alcohol in my system. Thank you.


Posting some photos I took last week, took a walk with my camera.

Obsessive

I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west
Was all but won
All alone
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where you been?"
He said, "Ask anything."


Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me


In the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing him
The only one who's ever known
Who I am
Who I'm not, who I wanna be
No way to know
How long he will be next to me


Early morning
The city breaks
I've been callin'
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never sent me no letters
You got some kinda nerve
Taking all I want

Supermassive Black Hole

I've been meaning to post for days now. Every day I get up thinking, "TODAY I will not procrastinate and waste the day away, I will blog and make some logos and do something PRODUCTIVE." And then I eat french fries for breakfast, sleep, go for swimming, meet ze boyfriend, get stoned out of my mind, come home wasted, watch a movie, and sleep. Yeah, productive? Not so much.

I was fucking angry almost whole of last week. 

I looked like this when I woke up. Yes, I'm not reeeaally a morning person.

I was angry at everyone's incompetence. I kept feeling like I was only the worthwhile person in this entire fucking universe, smart enough to get a job done. IT WAS AWESOME. Mwahahaha.

Everyone likes these guys ^ when they're angry. Why not me? *angry pout*

Oh I could do that to a couple of people. Yes yes I could.

I'm not angry now. Mostly ignoring everyone who angers me. It's so soothing. And specially with parents.

Parents have this annoying knack of being excruciatingly irrational and then being so fucking unapologetic about it because somehow being 25 years older than me gives them an upper hand that nothing can change. No, really!

And NOTHING pisses them off more than if you just carry on doing whatever you were when they're on one of their absurd and unreasonable rants. I sweeyur. Talking from experience. 

ROFL I tell you, memes are the new thing on the internet and they're so awesome it's like illegal.

Anyway. Like I said above, I've been swimming every morning in an I-don't-know-how-useful-it-has-been-yet attempt to get back into shape, as my mother thinks I need to get. And let me tell you, smoking not only fucks your stamina and makes you cough like you're seventy...it also makes your eight-years-younger sister swim way faster and more in term of amounts. Talk about fail. She rubs this fact in my face everyday. Stupid little twat. Sheesh man. Kids these days... *coughs like she's seventy*

My blog's birthday is coming up in another month. What am I planning? 

I DON'T KNOWWWWW. *mini panic attack*

Oh and before I end this post, like I promised in my last one. Music for this Monday isssssss:

Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

SO. MUCH. AWESOME.

Skinny Love - Bon Iver

So gorgeous. :) and like my boyfriend put it: 

"YOU'RE SKINNY! AND YOU'RE MY LOVE! SO THIS SONG IS FROM MEEEH TO YOUUH. ZOMG ZOMG."


Hahahah. Pyaaar, 
K




p.s. thinking of changing blog header.....*PLEASE DON'T HURT MEEEEEEEH*

Just Little Things :)

Tumblr makes me happy!

So every Monday I'm going to share a piece of music, photography or writing that will inspire me right till next Monday when I come back with more. How does that sound?

Music, today.

Starting with, of course :

Every Teardrop is a Waterfall - Coldplay

Not their best by far and it even failed to make a place in my heart like their winter single Christmas Lights had, this new song by Coldplay is one that I didn't like to begin with but multiple looped-listenings later it has grown on me. :) 

A Lack Of Color - Death Cab for a Cutie

So simple, so beautiful. And the lyrics make me smile! DCFC = awesome and prove that simple can sell. :D

Stronger - Kanye West

Kanye collaborates with Daft Punk (Technologic!) and comes up with this fucking brilliant piece of music. It inspired me so much that I'm currently trying out a text animation on this! 

Give them a listen and tell me what you think, guys :)

Two Songs

1. Warning Sign - Coldplay

2. I'm Yours - Jason Mraz 

Now Playing

Current playlist love :

Such A Rush - Coldplay

Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap

Whatcha Say - Jason Derulo

The Dangling Conversation - Simon & Garfunkel

DAY NINE: nine loves

1. Reading - though in the previous post I've talked about how much Bangalore has fucked with my reading ability and capacity, there is no greater joy than being curled up with a superb story sitting next to your window and crying your heart out when your favourite character suffers something greatly. 

2. Bathing 

3. Music - because it's the rhythm of the soul. Also I've learnt classical dance for 11 years and jazz for 3, so it means a lot to me anyway :) I learnt to express myself through it!
4. Chocolate - no explanation needed.

5. Rainy evenings.

6. My mum and sister :) dad too I guess :P

7. School <3

8. Friends both Delhi and Bangalore.

9. Trees

Thank you for the music.

In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah

I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed
I was lost, oh yeah

Yeah, how long must you wait for him?
Yeah, how long must you pay for him?
Yeah, how long must you wait for him?

I was scared, I was scared
Tired and under-prepared
But I wait for you

If you go, if you go
Leaving me here on my own
Well I wait for you

Yeah, how long must you wait for him?
Yeah, how long must you pay for him?
Yeah, how long must you wait for him?

Please, please, please
Come on and sing to me
To me, me

Come on and sing it out, out, out
Come on and sing it now, now, now
Come on and sing it

In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah
Oh yeah 


This post is dedicated completely and wholly to Coldplay and how they changed my life. 


The first time I heard 'Yellow' was back in seventh grade when heartbreak didn't exist and I had a best friend of the opposite sex, something which became a regular fixture only after that. iPods still weren't in as much vogue as discmans and we would sneak them into school in tiffin boxes and unnecessary notebooks just for the joy of a few minutes' of intermittent music between classes. That's the first time my best friend said to me, "aye you, stop obsessing over bollywood music for three minutes and come here and listen to this. Fucking brilliant." Back then the word 'fuck' was used sparingly so when I did hear it I knew it was meant most genuinely.


The opening bars began. For a minute I was like "WTF yuck, I hate this song and him for making me listen to it!" but that was my stupid bollywood-brain-washed self talking. And I let that self override what I really felt about it. I refused to ask him the name of the band and I was left in peace to listen to what I felt was quality music but was actually just a load of shit put together and set to a rhythm.


The second time I heard 'Yellow' was at a concert that happened in my school campus and I had been headbanging to some obscure rock song the band was pelting out. And they stopped and we gathered our breath, and as I was adjusting my hair and smiling to myself about the awesomeness of the night, the lead singer announced that he was going to sing something the audience would love. We of course cheered our heart out at that, and suddenly the familiar opening bars of that song started to play. And all my friends around me screamed and yelled in happiness, and I think I was the only one in that audience of 500+ people that didn't know the words.


College came and my music tastes turned from popular to just a little bit varied. I picked up music from here and there and became quite a youtube whore, and my laptop, whenever it is on, is constantly playing music. My habit of playing songs according to my mood changed: earlier I would play sad songs when I was sad and happy ones when I was happy, but now the moods have become more specific as have the playlists. I have a set of songs I play only when I miss home, one to play only in the mood I'm in on certain afternoons (which also varies according to the weather), one to play when certain friends come home, and another to play when I go for a bath.


Then one day, my friend copy-pasted the entire Coldplay discography onto my iTunes.


'The Scientist' played when I lost my grandfather. 
'Fix You' played when I lost a ton of other people.
'Brothers & Sisters' plays sometimes, randomly.
'Warning Sign' plays on nights when I sit up and draw, and smile to myself.
'In My Place' plays to make me happy.
'Strawberry Swing' always, always, ALWAYS makes me smile and it reminds me of empty-bus rides at night with my iPod and me singing loudly out of the window.
'Swallowed in the Sea' makes me feel loved :)
'Green Eyes' makes me sing along very loudly and badly if I have earphones on.
'Clocks' plays to make me feel worthwhile and un-useless.
'Your Love Means Everything' makes me cry every single time I hear it. Without fail.
'Christmas Lights'..."when you're still waiting for the snow to fall, it doesn't really feel like Christmas at all" :) it's like this song was their birthday gift to me.


I just had to say...thanks for the music, Coldplay :)