Revival

After months of feeling like a shitty untalented prick of a person, endless tea cups and crying snivelling phone conversations with Ze Boyfriend, I'm typing this as a graduate!

*cue awkward dancing in a saree*

I cannot put into words the complete LACK OF STRESS in my body and mind. Can you imagine college being over? It feels surreal. No more late night texts to sleeping housemates asking them to wake me up the next day; no more end-of-the-month-broke-people-food like bread and butter; no more woefully staring at the Nutella jars on the supermarket shelf, wondering when you're going home next where Nutella is boundless.

Of course being at home has disadvantages too, like how much these 4 years are going to shape the way I think and how much I'll miss them, all the goddamn time. Not to mention the people.

Oh man.

Anyway I don't want to go down that road right now because where I am right now is the best feeling in the world, with these graduate idiots I call my friends.

This is just to say hi, Chaos, and to tell you I'm back, Professional Diploma in Visual Communication Design and all.

Love,
Kanika

The More You Know

You know the one sure-shot way to never feel stressed again?

It's confidence.

(the things you learn the day before a massive deadline)

Of Love and Other Drugs

Being the douchebag that I am, I missed my blog's third birthday. Three years! My blog is three whole years old! I cannot believe in its existence sometimes. That there is this portal I created for me to talk to myself. And I've ignored it, been angry with it, wanted to shut it down, but I come back to it anyway, because on days when everything else is trying super hard to make me feel terrible, Chaos is what's left behind.

Happy belated birthday Chaos, you are loved! :)

In other news, I've fallen horribly sick and everything feels morose. Every inch of my body goes up in flames of pain when I try to move. This means I can't do anything but rest my laptop on my stomach and scroll through endless distances of tumblr and pinterest, because this is as good an excuse as any to not work. I'm being force-fed a multitude of medicines which leads to long periods of hazy things.

I've come to realise that this diploma project is bringing out the most powerful waves of self-doubt and under confidence. Ze Boyfriend and I are trying super hard to lean on each other and keep our chins up. It's difficult when you look at it head on, but having someone to cry and complain about it with you makes it feel 1235126387% do-able. Fascinating how love can fill up all your gaps.

I'll be back once my nose isn't threatening to fall off.

Love,
Kanika

Everything's Not Lost

There it was, I had it, my moment of everything-just-hit-me-all-at-once-what-am-i-doing-everything-sucks, and I handled it better than I ever thought I could.

And best of all, I had a friend to help me along, in that 10 seconds of silent chaos.

Everything is okay, and it will be, because the universe will always turn itself back up again and the sun will shine again new.

I will be okay, come darkness or light, the lows of loneliness or the highs of the contentment. Coldplay will always be the answer to questions that are woozy, with some added herbs and spices.

Everything is okay.

:)